MADRID (Reuters) - A Spanish driver who collided with a cyclist is suing the dead youth’s family $29,300 for the damage the impact of his body did to his luxury car, a Spanish newspaper reported on Friday.

Businessman Tomas Delgado says 17-year-old Enaitz Iriondo caused $20,500 of damage to his Audi A8 in the fatal 2004 crash in La Rioja region, the El Pais newspaper reported.

Delgado, who has faced no criminal charges for the incident, wants a further 6,000 euros to cover the cost of hiring another vehicle while his car was being repaired, El Pais said.

The youth had been cycling alone at night without reflective clothing or a helmet, according to a police report cited by El Pais.

His family won 33,000 euros compensation from Delgado’s insurance company after the firm acknowledged he had been driving at excessive speed and this could have contributed to the incident, El Pais reported.

“I’m also a victim in all of this, you can’t fix the lad’s problems, but you can fix mine,” Delgado told the newspaper, ahead of a January 30 legal decision on his suit.

The family said they had previously pitied Delgado for the guilt he must feel at killing their son but were now disgusted that his greatest concern appeared to be money.

“This was the final straw, a kick in the teeth,” the youth’s mother Rosa Trinidad told El Pais.

jay: uh, i got nothing here.

Des Moines, Iowa (AP) — Pig fetuses believed stolen from a biology lab at a Des Moines high school were found impaled on car antennas at a rival school’s parking lot in West Des Moines. The incident was discovered on Tuesday at Dowling Catholic High School.

The pig fetuses were believed stolen from Roosevelt High School. They were on about 15 cars, along with a pound of biology-class crawfish that were smeared on hoods and windshields.

“You could smell the formaldehyde from a block away,” Dowling Assistant Principal Ron Meyers said.

Roosevelt Principal Kathie Danielson said science teachers “can’t be sure” the pigs came from Roosevelt. She said the pig fetuses aren’t labeled and the school doesn’t keep inventory.

jay: this is pretty gross, even for des moines.

AP — HAYDEN, Idaho — A man who believed he bore the “mark of the beast” used a circular saw to cut off one hand, then he cooked it in the microwave and called 911, authorities said.

The man, in his mid-20s, was calm when Kootenai County sheriff’s deputies arrived Saturday in this northern Idaho town. He was in protective custody in the mental health unit of Kootenai Medical Center.

“It had been somewhat cooked by the time the deputy arrived,” sheriff’s Capt. Ben Wolfinger said. “He put a tourniquet on his arm before, so he didn’t bleed to death. That kind of mental illness is just sad.”

[…]

The book of Matthew also contains the passage: “And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for you whole body to do into hell.”

Wolfinger said he didn’t know which hand was amputated.

jay is it in the AP styleguide that all stories which quote law enforcement officials are required to have an incredibly dry punchline? it would seem that the answer is ‘yes.’

Fairburn, S.D. (AP) — Acting to protect her dog, 80-year-old Martha Smith killed a mountain lion at her home along French Creek near Fairburn. She missed with her first shot, went into the house to call 911, then went back outside with a .22-caliber rifle.

“And he was a spittin’ and a growlin’,” said Smith. “All I saw was flashing eyes and teeth. And I knew I was gonna have to kill him if I could.”

Smith, who lives alone, said she’d like to have the lion mounted, but doubts the state Department of Game, Fish & Parks will return the carcass to her.

jay: i’m with you martha. in fact, i’m so with you that i think i’m gonna make ‘return the carcass’ tshirts and sell them on etsy.