AP - CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa - A man was arrested after a government agent allegedly found him in an office building restroom lying next to an inflatable, anatomically correct doll with his pants down. Craig S. McCullough, 47, was charged Wednesday with indecent exposure, a misdemeanor.

[…]

McCullough was arrested, and Cedar Rapids police took him to the Linn County jail. His arraignment was scheduled later Friday, police spokeswoman Cristy Hamblin said.

[…]

McCullough’s criminal record includes a 2004 conviction for burglarizing Just For Me bridal boutique. Shortly after the burglary, police officers found McCullough in a nearby alley, carrying a mannequin wearing a bridal dress.

jay: are you sure it wasn’t andrew mccarthy? i haven’t seen him since the original mannequin. oh wait, yes i have. he was in weekend at bernie’s 2. also, nice headline pun and good choice of jail euphemism by the AP.

AP - SCRANTON, Pa. - Talk about a potty mouth. A Scranton woman who allegedly shouted profanities at her overflowing toilet within earshot of a neighbor was cited for disorderly conduct, authorities said.

Dawn Herb could face up to 90 days in jail and a fine of up to $300.

“It doesn’t make any sense. I was in my house. It’s not like I was outside or drunk,” Herb told The Times-Tribune of Scranton. “The toilet was overflowing and leaking down into the kitchen and I was yelling (for my daughter) to get the mop.”

Herb doesn’t recall exactly what she said, but she admitted letting more than a few choice words fly near an open bathroom window Thursday night.

Her next-door neighbor, a city police officer who was off-duty at the time, asked her to keep it down, police said. When she continued, the officer called police.

Mary Catherine Roper, an attorney with the American Civil Liberties Union in Philadelphia, took issue with the citation.

“You can’t prosecute somebody for swearing at a cop or a toilet,” she said.

jay: cop or a toilet! good one, aclu. also, i’d like to draw your attention to the worst first line ever. potty mouth? *groan* bad one, ap.

KTVB.com - BOISE - A prankster targeted Boise’s Simplot Hill with an unknown plant-killing substance, leaving a large pattern on the grassy hill.

The phallic symbol can be seen from Cartwright Road. The image is an outline drawing and appears to be 10-20 feet tall. It is unknown who targeted the hill or why.

jay: way to cockblock, ktvb.

Extremist taunts his victims from prison
AP - BIRMINGHAM, Ala. - Victims of Eric Rudolph, the anti-abortion extremist who pulled off a series of bombings across the South, say he is taunting them from deep within the nation’s most secure federal prison, and authorities say there is little they can do to stop him.

vs.

Two men plead guilty in Utah arson fires laid to ecoterrorist groups
AP - Two men pleaded guilty Friday to setting separate fires, at a lumber yard and a university farm building, on behalf of ecoterrorist groups. Justus A. Ireland, 23, admitted to starting a June fire at a lumber yard in West Jordan. He said he placed lighted flares under a pallet loaded with cardboard and wood and on the seat of a delivery truck. Damage was estimated at $1.5 million.

jay: i’m not the first person to point out the contradictory usage of terrorist and extremist, buy today’s perusal through the news reminded me how unhappy it makes me. eric rudolph is an extremist (eric rudolph killed three people); two people who set fire to a lumberyard are terrorists (no one was killed). eric rudolph only targeted people who deserved it (gays, women seeking abortions, people visiting the olympic games). ‘ecoterrorists’ target people like you and me, who are just trying to live their lives. they could attack you next! in your suv! at the mall! on halloween! don’t go!

(Sports Network) - Bartolo Colon attempts to win his third consecutive start off the disabled list tonight for the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, who will be aiming to continue their recent dominance of the Kansas City Royals.

After missing nearly nine months to rehab a partially torn right rotator cuff, Colon returned to a major-league mound on April 21 and delivered an outstanding performance against the Seattle Mariners. The former American League Cy Young winner allowed just one run on seven hits to lead the Angels to a 7-6 victory.

This is.

Royals To Get A Taste Of Angels’ Colon

dan: so i guess the kid they’ve got writing headlines over at the sports network is ready to move on…