AP — DRIGGS, Idaho — Dawn Wells, who played Mary Ann on “Gilligan’s Island,” is serving six months’ unsupervised probation after allegedly being caught with marijuana in her car.

She was sentenced Feb. 29 to five days in jail, fined $410.50 and placed on probation after pleading guilty to one count of reckless driving.

…

On Oct. 18, Teton County sheriff’s Deputy Joseph Gutierrez arrested Wells as she was driving home from a surprise birthday party that was held for her. According to the sheriff’s office report, Gutierrez pulled Wells over after noticing her swerve and repeatedly speed up and slow down. When Gutierrez asked about a marijuana smell, Wells said she’d just given a ride to three hitchhikers and had dropped them off when they began smoking something. Gutierrez found half-smoked joints and two small cases used to store marijuana.

jay: i guess this answers the ginger vs mary ann question…

By CARA RUBINSKY
AP - NEW HAVEN, Conn. - Two people who sprinkled flour in a parking lot to mark a trail for their offbeat running club inadvertently caused a bioterrorism scare and now face a felony charge.

The sprinkled powder forced hundreds to evacuate an IKEA furniture store Thursday.

New Haven ophthalmologist Daniel Salchow, 36, and his sister, Dorothee, 31, who is visiting from Hamburg, Germany, were both charged with first-degree breach of peace, a felony.

Police fielded a call just before 5 p.m. that someone was sprinkling powder on the ground. The store was evacuated and remained closed the rest of the night. The incident prompted a massive response from police in New Haven and surrounding towns.

Daniel Salchow biked back to IKEA when he heard there was a problem and told officers the powder was just harmless flour, which he said he and his sister have sprinkled everywhere from New York to California without incident.

“Not in my wildest dreams did I ever anticipate anything like that,” he said.

Mayoral spokeswoman Jessica Mayorga said the city plans to seek restitution from the Salchows, who are due in court Sept. 14.

“You see powder connected by arrows and chalk, you never know,” she said. “It could be a terrorist, it could be something more serious. We’re thankful it wasn’t, but there were a lot of resources that went into figuring that out.”

jay: i think it’s safe to assume that if something doesn’t fit within your small area of knowledge that it’s definitely terrorism. well done, new haven.

KING5.com — VANCOUVER, Wash. – Authorities arrested eight suspects and seized a half pound of suspected methamphetamine and another half pound of heroin today in Vancouver, Wash. as part of “Operation Methopotamia.”

The two-year investigation into drug trafficking is lead by the Drug Enforcement Administration and the United States Immigrations and Customs Enforcement, in cooperation with other law enforcement. Two dozen people have already been charged in state or federal court in connection with the investigation.

jay: you know how i know this? because they came up with the best. drug. pun. ever. methopotamia! haha. what’s next? operation bike methenger? operation methozoic era? operation methage parlor? actually, i think they got the best one. damn you, dea. how dare you out-pun me!

dan: they’ve always done this. couple years ago, they busted a half-dozen junkies in boise in “operation heroin-dianapolis.” before that, it was a bunch of speed freaks in arizona, and they called it “operation crystal ball…and strike!” and i remember in high school, the dea did a big raid on a local head shop they called “the taking of the pel-hash 1-2-3.” i think it’s probably a good way to rally the troops.

dan: also: seven dealers in pittsburgh and a shoebox full of mdma. they called it “operation: the ecstacy and the agony!”

dan: and: one dreadlocked deadhead in the astrodome parking lot. they called it “operation: shrooms with a view…in prison!”

dan: plus: three pot farmers in virginia city, maryland. they called it “operation: don’t hide it, divide it!”

By Europe Correspondent Rafael Epstein
ABC News — Royal Australian Navy personnel were almost captured by Iranian forces but repelled them using “highly colourful language”, according to reports in the UK.

The incident happened a few months before 15 British sailors and marines were taken prisoner in the same Gulf waters.

Several military sources have told the BBC that Iranian naval forces tried to capture an Australian Navy boarding team but were vigorously repelled.

The BBC claims that the Australian Navy boarding party had just finished searching a vessel in the Gulf, when Iranian boats came out to meet them.

The Australians reportedly saw the Iranian patrol approaching, reboarded the ship they had been searching, and aimed their weapons at the Iranian boats.

The Australians used what was described as “highly colourful language” to deter the Iranian patrol.

jay: i think this says more about the iranian navy than the australian navy.

AP - ATLANTA - A globe-trotting Atlanta lawyer with a dangerous strain of tuberculosis was allowed back into the U.S. by a border inspector who disregarded a computer warning to stop him and don protective gear, officials said Thursday. The inspector has been removed from border duty.

The unidentified inspector explained that he was no doctor but that the infected man seemed perfectly healthy and that he thought the warning was merely “discretionary,” officials briefed on the case told The Associated Press. They spoke on condition of anonymity because the matter is still under investigation.

jay: this is probably the same border patroller who stopped me on my way back from canada and grilled me for 10 minutes about being a member of MS-13. or maybe it was the guy who dragged me back into secondary inspection, told me to get out of the car, tossed all the shit out of my trunk, snapped on some rubber gloves and nearly scared the poop out of me on my way back from mexico. so useless. all of them.

cates: can we get this dude transferred to LAX immigration? i need an underqualified buffoon there to let me into the US permanently.

Alexei Barrionuevo for the NYTimes

BELTSVILLE, Md., April 23 — What is happening to the bees?

More than a quarter of the country’s 2.4 million bee colonies have been lost — tens of billions of bees, according to an estimate from the Apiary Inspectors of America, a national group that tracks beekeeping. So far, no one can say what is causing the bees to become disoriented and fail to return to their hives.

As with any great mystery, a number of theories have been posed, and many seem to researchers to be more science fiction than science. People have blamed genetically modified crops, cellular phone towers and high-voltage transmission lines for the disappearances. Or was it a secret plot by Russia or Osama bin Laden to bring down American agriculture? Or, as some blogs have asserted, the rapture of the bees, in which God recalled them to heaven? Researchers have heard it all.

The volume of theories “is totally mind-boggling,” said Diana Cox-Foster, an entomologist at Pennsylvania State University. With Jeffrey S. Pettis, an entomologist from the United States Department of Agriculture, Dr. Cox-Foster is leading a team of researchers who are trying to find answers to explain “colony collapse disorder,” the name given for the disappearing bee syndrome.

rob: for the entire 1970’s they tell us that the “killer bees” are coming, and show us maps with dark, creeping masses of swarms coming up from mexico to do us in. “the inevitable advance,” scientists called it. so what does this decline in bee colonies mean? it means it’s time to unfurl the “mission accomplished” banner again.

jay: sweet! i’ll get the aircraft carrier. u-s-a! u-s-a!

dan: spot-on, rob. eat THAT, honey-smugglers!