BAAPS Press Release

London, UK — 15 June, 2007 - The British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (www.baaps.org.uk), the not-for-profit organisation established for the advancement of education and practice of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery for public benefit, today denounced a website offering free breast augmentations as ‘degrading’ and warned British women that the process was entirely inappropriate for what should be a life-changing decision.

The BAAPS have learned that UK women are being lured into joining the myfreeimplants.com site, where they post photos of themselves and a personal profile, meant to entice men to donate money to pay for their breast augmentation surgery. Benefactors are then allowed unrestricted access to all profiles, are able to ‘send messages to the ladies’ as well as ‘purchase any personal products the ladies may have for sale’ and even ‘receive custom photos of your favourite girls (you may even request specific outfits)’.

cates: etymological note: the word “benefactor” comes from the mediaeval english for “moneyed sex pest”.

jay: i like the kids who post at subnerd. they help me learn about new things, like what ‘gummy bear’ implants are.

via edrants.com (HC)

A Syrian-born airline pilot allegedly tricked a schoolteacher from Haverfordwest into having sex with him by pretending he had to administer ointment on the end of his penis, a jury heard.

Fadi Sbano, 38, even pretended to know a gynaecologist who advised him on how often to have intercourse with her and whether to thrust “slowly or quickly”. And on the “doctor’s advice”, he kept a clock on the bedside table to time the sessions.

The teacher put up with the treatment for nine months before telling her doctor.

jay: pardon? nine months?

Huw Rees, prosecuting, told Swansea crown court: “The allegations here are of rape by deception.” Mr. Rees said the pair met while Sbano was based at Gatwick and the teacher was working nearby. In November, 2000, she discovered a rash of white spots and feared that typhoid, which she contracted on holiday some years before, had returned.

Sbano claimed he was in talks with a gynaecologist who was anxious for a certain cream to be applied, the prosecutor said. “He (Sbano) suggested he would apply the cream to his penis and apply it inside her.

Mr Rees said the woman found the sessions “Clinical, not at all erotic”. She consented only because she believed it was a proper treatment.

jay: dis!

“When the insertions took place, and depending on the instructions of his friend, he would thrust slowly or quickly for anything from one to ten minutes,”

jay: double-dis!

Her doctor told her to find out the identity of Sbano’s gynaecologist friend but he “became evasive and never gave his name” beyond the word “Ibby”.

“It began to dawn on her that he had devised this treatment in order to have sex with her on his terms.”

jay: again: nine months? did she finally decide to consult WebMD or something?

[Sbano] claimed the woman had invented the entire story about the “treatment”. Sbano, from Harrow, London, denies nine charges of rape and 11 or obtaining money by deception. The trial continues.

jay: as an aside, how does one even go about offering this “treatment” while keeping a straight face? and doesn’t england have like, free health care? why are we consulting airline pilots for medical advice/application?

AP - HAUPPAUGE, N.Y. - An undercover sex sting that used Miss America as bait appeared to be in trouble until the beauty queen said Tuesday she changed her mind and agreed to testify against the men she helped arrest.

jay: behold the power of subnerd.

dan: this is good. i believe this is how captain america got her start.

AP - HAUPPAUGE, N.Y. - An undercover sex sting that used Miss America as bait may be in trouble after the beauty queen told prosecutors that she does not plan to testify against the men she helped arrest.

Lauren Nelson, 20, of Lawton, Okla., worked with police in Suffolk County to target would-be Internet sexual predators, taped for an episode of the TV show “America’s Most Wanted.”

She posed as a teenager and lured men into chatting online and meeting her at a home, where police and crews were waiting. Eleven men were arrested in the sting.

But one or all of the cases against the men could be in jeopardy after Nelson told prosecutors she did not plan on returning to Long Island to testify, said Suffolk District Attorney Thomas Spota in Newsday’s Tuesday edition.

jay: like a king who marches off to war because he’s the best soldier we’ve got (as an aside: 300 was so bad), miss america was down in the trenches chatting with sexual predators. and now she’s too busy to testify. my question is this: is it any surprise that she has OTHER things to do? dude. she’s miss america. she has to like, be in parades and shit. she already found the perverts, how about you take it from here with the legal eagling?

By CARL ZIMMER

NY Times — LITCHFIELD, Conn. — “This guy’s the champion,” said Patricia Brennan, a behavioral ecologist, leaning over the nether regions of a duck — a Meller’s duck from Madagascar, to be specific — and carefully coaxing out his phallus.

The duck was quietly resting upside-down against the stomach of Ian Gereg, an aviculturist here at the Livingston Ripley Waterfowl Sanctuary. Dr. Brennan, a post-doctoral researcher at Yale University and the University of Sheffield, visits the sanctuary every two weeks to measure the phalluses of six species of ducks.

When she first visited in January, the phalluses were the size of rice grains. Now many of them are growing rapidly. The champion phallus from this Meller’s duck is a long, spiraling tentacle. Some ducks grow phalluses as long as their entire body. In the fall, the genitalia will disappear, only to reappear next spring.

The anatomy of ducks is especially bizarre considering that 97 percent of all bird species have no phallus at all. Most male birds just deliver their sperm through an opening. Dr. Brennan is investigating how this sexual wonder of the world came to be.

…

Dr. Brennan was oblivious to bird phalluses until 1999. While working in a Costa Rican forest, she observed a pair of birds called tinamous mating. “They became unattached, and I saw this huge thing hanging off of him,” she said. “I could not believe it. It became one of those questions I wrote down: why do these males have this huge phallus?”

A bird phallus is similar — but not identical — to a mammalian penis. Most of the time it remains invisible, curled up inside a bird’s body. During mating, however, it fills with lymphatic fluid and expands into a long, corkscrew shape. The bird’s sperm travels on the outside of the phallus, along a spiral-shaped groove, into the female bird.

read the rest

jay: CORKSCREW! i kind of wish i was pre-1999 dr brennan or pre-april 30th 2007 jay patrikios, which is to say that i wish i was still oblivious to bird phalluses. because now that i know about duck cockscrew, i will never be the same again.